So hither I plant myself at the Alfred Palmer Memorial Recreation Ground inward Mortimer Common, merely outside of Reading. This is the home of Mortimer Football Club, a order who could quite mayhap hold the proud distinction of existence the alone sports team in the entire earth who use an actual photograph in their logo. This is no place for your vector graphics inward this Earth.
 |
| A scrap of record to ward off unruly pitch invaders. |
This was my first risk into the murky Earth of Step 7, or the 11th edifice block of the English football game pyramid, as well as quite perhaps where I commencement to jump the shark as well as wonder just what it is I'thousand doing with my life.
 |
| An unknown animal, native solely to common football game, emerges from the rough amongst its prey. |
This is where football is definitely commons football game. This is the unnecessarily named Thames Valley Premier League Premier Division. Quite why any league that has multiple divisions within its makeup insists on calling themselves the Premier League I don't know. I'm looking at yous Northern Premier League.
 |
| Players clash over what I assume was a rather agricultural challenge. |
What is beautiful most football game at this degree is:
one. It's costless
Who doesn't dear free amusement? Personally, in that location'sec goose egg better than alive sport. Whatever grade it'sec at, I'll become if person offers me a ticket. And if I don't have to pass coin? Perfect. I'thousand a sucker for Reading nether-23 matches since y'all're (unremarkably) let inward for gratuitous, too you can simply sit around the Madejski Stadium taking inward semi-passable football game.
Here y'all tin can just rock upwardly, commons your auto right by the pitch too savour a brace of hours eventide amusement amongst a pair of cans (although if yous're driving, peradventure but limit it to 1).
 |
| A big gaggle of men honey a fleck of ball watching. |
2. The players clearly dear the sport
This is a world away from your Romelu Lukakus in addition to your Paul Pogbas. Supremely talented players, only players y'all frequently inquiry whether they actually similar the sport, since they appear to play alongside all the enthusiasm of somebody who has only worked a night shift at an Amazon warehouse. Is it only a chore for them? See Benoît Assou-Ekotto.
Every game is nigh a battle of life too decease, played at a high intensity even when they've only arrived directly from a full solar day'second operate. These guys dearest what they're doing.
 |
| If yous'd but pay attention to the game, y'all'd know the mark is currently ii-iv. |
3. There's e'er at least one Canis familiaris inwards attendance
With large open up spaces, you tin take the gamble to have in about live sport and hand your pet practise. It's one of the groovy sights at many grounds, and then much so that at that place'sec an Instagram account dedicated purely to dogs at not league football game matches. So if the game is crap, at least y'all tin can distract yourself with a cute piffling fauna that is definitely having more fun than you lot are.
 |
| Preparing to whip a gratis kicking into the neighbouring gardens. |
iv. Goals
The unmarried argue why the sport hasn't taken off inward America. Top flight matches tin easily go savage tactical battles of ane squad trying to stack all its squad in the goal frame, not attempting to have a shot of their own as well as thwarting meliorate sides from scoring.
Sure it tin live exciting in it'second ain ways, just the object of the game is to score. And downwards at this level y'all merely know that it'second but a matter of when, not if at that place's going to be a goal. There's ever a goalkeeping howler lurking circular the corner. Jack Butland volition live welcome hither.
 |
| Some of the crowd make an early getaway. |
five. If y'all plough up belatedly in addition to miss the kick off y'all take literally no thought what the grade is
Having arrived a few minutes tardily, I spent the whole even amazed and convinced that the Thames Valley Premier League Twitter business relationship writer was roughly form of soothsayer inward correctly managing to predict a 3-2 away win.
 |
| The sun sets behind Mortimer'sec hospitality boxes. |
In a world where Mark Lawrenson never gets a unmarried grade correct inward the Premier League (I hateful, it'd assist if he thought Manchester City were capable of scoring more than 2 inward a game. Has he always seen them play? Predict a seven-0 win once inwards a spell you lot wimp), that person could know enough about either team to correctly forecast a v finish thriller seemed to be the nearly impressive science of all.
But alas, it was non to be the example every bit it turned out arriving a few minutes afterwards 6pm meant missing a goal, and so their reputation has been dashed.
Useless information nearly Alfred Palmer Memorial Recreation Ground
Address: West End Road, Mortimer Common, Berkshire, RG7 3TW
Capacity: It'second a green...
Pitch Type: Grass
Ticket Price: Free
Programme: None